I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize