Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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