I'm gonna have a badass scar
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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