What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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