i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
