All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
