you're like a bully in the Christmas story
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
