So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
