She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
