there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
