just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
