Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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