just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
