So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
