new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
a search helicopter?!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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