Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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