I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
