Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
