I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
