I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
