he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize