this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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