I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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