what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
