Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
