are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
