I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
These tits shall not be calmed
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
