Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
