Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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