I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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