Do you still have your period?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
