sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Boobs are out for the taking
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
