im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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