I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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