I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
