Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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