But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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