I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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