Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
