Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
