He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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