The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize