I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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