i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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