they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
