why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
