he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Rumble strips road head = magical
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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