he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
