I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Damn victory sex feels great
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
