so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
