i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This baby is an asshole
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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