Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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