did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
