When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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