all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
