Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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